theParagon

Aaron Schaap Says:

My top 10 right now:

1. Doctors suggest that you should drink at least 64 oz. of water a day. Being a drone, I make sure to do this. Unfortunately it does have some side effects… Leave a message, I’ll be back soon.

1. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ —- If your wondering where the P is… its about to run down my leg in a second.

3. I’m single-handily trying to free the world of hunger, starting with myself.

4. I’m doing that thing. You know, the one where you pick the food up, put it in your mouth, swallow it, then repeat the process until the stomach hurts.

5. Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for SCHAAPY, your message will be answered to in the order in which it was recieved, your message is number 8,243, please hold, your message is important to me.

6.Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

7. I fell out of my chair. This might take a while.

8. Like a fat girl in a dodgeball game…. I’m out!

9. I feel sorry for all of you who take forever to fall asleep. I can do it like a snap! I could even fall asleep right here on the keyb— ghtufkndyghdhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..

10. I am in the middle of a really long blink. Leave a messeage.

derek is really still alive and just can't think of a new IM message Says:

for the more morbid of you all, of which I must be one, I have implemented the “IM suicide note,” as follows:

(IMer’s name), you heartless bastard… I heard everything you said about me. I was still within earshot. Because of your base cruelty, I’ve swallowed a whole bottle of Colt 45 at (exact time)… you’re probably too late to save me. I’m probably already gone. Goodbye, cruel world.

Yeah, it’s pretty gruesome, but hey - lighten up! I’m still alive! At least I’m not laughing about women in the kitchen, knitting or something. Oh, wait, that was last week’s topic. =]

Jodi Says:

haha, I want to play this game - here goes nothin …

1. here’s something to think about … Does water go BAD?

thats all I can offer. That’s the only remotely funny one I have - I’m pathetic I know …

Trin Says:

Unfortunately, mine aren’t that creative - they consist mostly of quotes that I appreciate.

But I do appreciate this one:

“Busy pretending that I’m a tremendously talented writer. Interrupt my delusion if you wish.”

=)

Emily Says:

I really don’t know how this one got on my computer… ;)

working out with LIZ at the GYM check out my roommates website though - he is really good.

www.theparagon.org

Joel Says:

Sorry, I’m busy trying to think up creative away messages.

Aaron Schaap Says:

A couple more ——

1. taking a nap - that’s what you do when you’re unemployed.

2. yea - i’m sleeping… I probably won’t wake up till the crack of noon, either. Why you ask? —- Because i’m unemployed.

Jodi Says:

“I got one!!!!”

and …

“Hi %n(IMers name), Jodi’s computer is broken right now. This is her fridge. Now, you can leave a message, but say it slowly, so I can write it on a post-it note and stick it to myself.

Kelly Says:

If I’m not back in 5 minutes…………wait longer.

LilShroomWoman Says:

Here’s a couple of away messages:

1. I’m off at Kazaa stealing music from musicians who poured their heart and soul into their work, because i am a cheap bastard.

2. In the beginning the world was without form, and void. And God said ‘Let there be light’. And God separated the light from the dark. And did two loads of laundry.

3. I’m not here right now because of all the money you owe me

4. The first thing i did when i found the skull was call the police, but then i got curious and picked it up , wondering who it was, and why they had deer horns.

5. Last night i was laying in bed looking up at the stars and i wondered,

“Where the hell is my ceiling?”

And last but not least, number 6:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I am not here

So what’s wrong with you?

You’re talking to yourself

And that’s not too cool

You must have been one of those kids

That took the short bus to school.

LilShroomWoman Says:

Here’s a couple of away messages:

1. I’m off at Kazaa stealing music from musicians who poured their heart and soul into their work, because i am a cheap bastard.

2. In the beginning the world was without form, and void. And God said ‘Let there be light’. And God separated the light from the dark. And did two loads of laundry.

3. I’m not here right now because of all the money you owe me

4. The first thing i did when i found the skull was call the police, but then i got curious and picked it up , wondering who it was, and why they had deer horns.

5. Last night i was laying in bed looking up at the stars and i wondered,

“Where the hell is my ceiling?”

And last but not least, number 6:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I am not here

So what’s wrong with you?

You’re talking to yourself

And that’s not too cool

You must have been one of those kids

That took the short bus to school.

Kyle Says:

It’s amazing how away messages become a part of our lives. I’m sure that you, yes, you %n, saw that little yellow note by my name and decided to read it, expecting to find out just where I am and exactly what I’m doing. But do you REALLY care? Probably not, because how often do you bother to leave me messages when I’m away? So basically, just be satisfied knowing that I’m not anywhere near my computer right now. Chau.

Deftones1Minerva ..aka Kyle Says:

I am not here so leave a message. Well actually I could be here and I could just be ignoring you and you would never know. I could be sitting here laughing at you because I am avoiding you and you don’t know it. Ok, I’ll make a deal with you. If you can guess correctly whether or not I’m here I will talk to you. Then again, if I’m not here and you guess right then I’m really just not here to talk to you. Also, if I’m ignoring you and you guess right then what do you really think are the chances that I’ll tell you that you were right? So, I guess what I’m saying is leave a message and I’ll get back to you when I get back…unless I’m avoiding you.

kyle Says:

If you think life is bad now, how would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You get eaten once. It takes four minutes to get hard, only to minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all, the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mom! So cheer up, your life isn’t that bad!

kyle Says:

If you think life is bad now, how would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You get eaten once. It takes four minutes to get hard, only to minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all, the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mom! So cheer up, your life isn’t that bad!

kyle Says:

If you think life is bad now, how would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You get eaten once. It takes four minutes to get hard, only to minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all, the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mom! So cheer up, your life isn’t that bad!

Randy Says:

Im asleep dreaming of several sexy women living with me in a hughe house with no kids and 5 cars, soon I will wake up to see the message you have left. SO MAKE IT A GOOD ONE!!!

Randi Says:

Want to know where i am ……….go down

LOOK BEHIND YOU………….go down

Cant see me look in your mom’s bed!

Randi Says:

sexy smile…sparklin eye’s~

boy’s i got you hipnatized*

hair tossin jewlery daglin~

all the hottie’s KNOW im bagin*

likin my lips…swingin my hips~

all the guy’s want to tast this*

dont break yo neak lookin at my curvs~

you cant have what you dont diserv*

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